COLBERT REPORT 10/2 ON THE BAILOUT

So ah, by the way, ah what's this going to cost
oh ah 700 billion dollars...
where did the government get that figure?!
well, the treasury department said, it's not based on anything in particular they just, quote, wanted to choose a very big number.
the free market can save itself mister, it can do anything, it can self regulate- it can self correct....
true, but these are not normal circumstances; big companies are going under
good, it's called survival of the fittest, the companies are like lions fighting over the carcass of the economy, weak companies die, strong companies live, then the lionesses know who to mate with,
ah but that my friend is the problem, none of these companies are safe to mate with, it's like um business syphilis
so how did that happen
well it started with a few slutty lenders who jump into bed with some really sub prime mortgages
the next thing you knew you had a credit orgy..people were swapping derivatives, aig was all up in fannie mae, wachovia took on golden west then turned around and got it on with a.g. edwards, then city group had 'em all at once, it was steaming pile of hot slapping assets. no one, no one knew who was bundling who, but it felt good, and everybody was doing it, and in the end lets just say the market blew its liquidity.